MAKING AN EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CONNECTION WITH YOUR CHILD

   
The goal is building a foundation for a healthy relationship which is built one brick at a time. Quality time is a myth. You have to create opportunities to build time into relationships as all relationships take work. Building that foundation on mutual respect and trust is essential. Try to see things from your child’s perspective. Being fully present and attending to your child when talking is a step in the direction of putting your interest and your love into action.When we are busy making a living we often lose sight of what is really important in our lives. We’ve all heard the saying that no one on their deathbed says, “I wish I’d worked one more day.” Instead people often say that they wished they had gotten closer to their children.          

All day long your child is checking in with other kids about decisions he or she is contemplating making. Your goal is to be one of the people who  gets consulted.

Here are some concrete suggestions for getting interactions or conversations started with your child. You may begin by surrendering the content and timing of your conversations. Parents are used to controlling these things but will have a greater influence on their children if they provide opportunities for children to feel safe, respected, and accepted.

 First, provide space for your child to talk and respond. Learn to tolerate more silence, as children need more time to formulate their thoughts and ideas.

Second, ask your child about things that they find interesting such as music, media, and technology. Is there anything they are an expert in that they can teach you about?

Third, tell family stories

Fourth, play is a great vehicle into your child. Have a family game night.  A family movie night is also a good family tradition and a good conversation starter.

Fifth, provide opportunities for children to help with meal preparation. During dinner have a check in period when everyone can share a “rose” which is a good thing that happened that day and a “thorn” which is a bad thing that happened that day.Lifespan News MAKING AN EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CONNECTION WITH YOUR CHILDYour Employee Assistance Newsletter Spring Quarter 2011 Parents are people too. Try not to take it personally if your child resists your best efforts. Take a breath and try to talk from a calm place rather than a hurt and punitive one. Consider not letting rifts and resentments build and remember to re-connect after every emotional separation.  Parenting is challenging but also rewarding. These strategies can be helpful with building a connection with your children. Sometimes there are greater obstacles that need professional assistance. If you need assistance with implementing strategies to build a stronger bond with your children or have other issues that are causing conflicts, you may seek professional help through your Employee Assistance Program. Lifespan counselors are trained in a variety of issues that affect families. We would be glad to set up a confidential, free appointment.

Pam Hinton, EAP Counselor

Consider utilizing your LIFESPAN Employee Assistance Program as a support.

Lifespan EAP

18640 W Belvidere Rd. Grayslake, IL 60030

www.lifespaneap.org

                  

 Lifespan Employee Assistance Program is a free benefit provided by your employer.  You and your immediate family members can schedule a confidential appointment by calling Lifespan at 847-623-6873